Left to one's own devices
by Varethane
Summary: Miroku, Sango and Kagome discover that leaving a hanyou and a kitsune alone is not the best of ideas... some Miroku-Sango fluff. (Complete)
1. Asleep?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this fic. In short, I don't own Inuyasha. Heck, I don't even own Kouga.

So: here is the Varethane's strange idea of a humour fic. The idea, when it first struck me, just happened to strike me as amusing; though, when I wrote it, there ended up being an awful lot of character work in here. I also tried to work in a bit of romance, though (I hope) it's not really the main genre of the fic.

**:00:00:**

Miroku sighed as he sat down outside the hut. It had been a long and very unnerving day. To begin with he'd started it off with yet another slap by Sango, and a little bit of pain early in the morning was not the best way to begin a new day... but that was at least relatively normal.

Shortly after they'd set out from the small village (not Kaede's village, but one they'd come across during their search for the Shikon no kakera) an ominous presence had made itself known. And after rather a lot of distressing earthquakes and moving of things that really should not have been moving, it source of the trouble revealed itself as a rather large centipede youkai. Generally the things were easy enough to deal with, taking little more than a small whack to dispatch them. But not so in this case. The fight had been long, and very, very annoying. And in the end, they had managed to kill it, but not after Miroku had nearly had his arm broken and Inuyasha had been quite badly hurt. Thanks to youkai powers of healing, the silver-haired hanyou was just about recovered, but he was asleep at the moment within the hut.

The monk sighed again, cradling his throbbing arm. In the end, they'd wound up right where they'd started: back in the village. And the quest for the kakera would have to wait a day or so until they were ready to move on again.

"And all because of one centipede youkai," he muttered to himself. He glanced back into the hut, where Kagome, Sango and Shippou were watching Inuyasha while he slept. Or, at least, Kagome was watching him. Shippou and Sango had gotten bored and were playing jan-ken-pon in the corner, near the also-sleeping Kirara.

"Jan-ken-PON!" said Shippou, thrusting out two fingers as Sango revealed her outspread fingers. "Hah! I win!"

"That's not fair!" she told him, annoyed. "You can't wait until I've gone before you reveal your choice." She snorted. "I don't know why I let you talk me into playing this."

"Because you wanted something to keep you occupied so that you wouldn't get into Miroku's range," said Shippou, at which the monk sitting outside sighed loudly.

Sango sighed. "Ah, well, I'm bored anyway." She glanced over at Inuyasha, still asleep beneath Kagome's watchful eye. "When is he going to wake up?"

"Soon," said Miroku, turning to look into the hut. "He's fine really." He squinted into the hut. "I have a sneaking suspicion that he is remaining asleep on purpose to keep Kagome by his side."

Kagome stared at him.

"Baka!" hissed Sango. "He'll wake up when he's ready, houshi-sama."

"Well, I wish it were sooner rather than later," said Miroku. "It is getting rather dull here, and there is a perfectly fine village nearby. If it weren't for Inuyasha, we could be in that village right now… seeing the sights… the local women…"

"No," said Sango. "If Inuyasha were awake we'd be going off to look for the Shikon no kakera, you know that as well as I do."

"No we wouldn't," said Miroku. "It's too late, now. We would go to the _village_." He looked extraordinarily pleased at the prospect.

"Well, it doesn't matter because Inuyasha _isn't_ awake, houshi-sama," said Sango.

Miroku looked at her and sighed, for the fourth time in less than ten minutes. "Oh, how I long for the day when you can call me by name…"

"Well, that's exactly what you are, houshi-sama," said Sango. "What else need I call you?"

Instantly Miroku was in front of her, holding both her hands in one of his. He couldn't have moved faster had he been in possession of Inuyasha's youkai powers. "Well," he began, "for a start…"

Sango yelped as she felt his free hand on a part of her body that was decidedly off-limits. "Hentai!" she shrieked, and Shippou dodged out of the way as Hiraikotsu was brought to bear. Quickly Miroku had stretched his length upon the floor, and Shippou, who was behind Kagome, shook his head in despair. Sango replaced Hiraikotsu in its place against the wall.

"I don't think he'll ever learn," said the small kitsune.

"Honestly," said Kagome, as Miroku sat up with a groan. "Sometimes I wish that the osuwari command worked on him too…"

A strangled groan from behind her made her gasp. "Oh no! I'm sorry Inuyasha! I wasn't thinking!" The hanyou had been flipped onto his stomach and pressed into the ground as if by a giant hand. As Kagome started to turn him over, Miroku seized his chance.

"Come on, Sango, Kagome-sama," he said, standing. "Before we cause any more harm to Inuyasha, let's get out of this hut." He grinned, mostly at his own cleverness. "We're going to the village."

"I can't leave him _alone_," said Kagome, gasping. "Not while he's like this!"

Miroku made a dismissive gesture. "Do you see any wounds on him, Kagome-sama? He's just sleeping it off. He'll be fine."

Sango, who despite her annoyance was more than happy to go into the village, noticed the expression on Kagome's face. "Don't worry, Kagome. Here, if you're worried, I'll stay and watch him for you."

Kagome began to nod, relieved and startled at the same time that Sango would make an offer like that, but Miroku caught Sango's arm quickly. "No, you have to come too," he said, his other arm quickly snaking round her waist to pull her closer. "You need to get out of this hut just as much as Kagome-sama does."

Sango gasped as his hand began to slide lower along her body, and the resounding noise of a slap rang through the hut. She slipped away from him, glaring, to stand near the door. "Sorry, Kagome, but I think I'll go after all," she said, panting. "The village girls need my protection more than Inuyasha does at the moment!" Her eyes fell upon the small form of the kitsune, sitting beside the also-sleeping Kirara. "Here, Shippou can stay with Inuyasha."

"What?" Shippou protested as the three began to move towards the door. "Hey! That's not fair! I want to go too!" he ran up onto Kagome's shoulder, but the girl gently reached up and took him off.

"Sorry, Shippou," she said as he began to cry. "I'll buy you lots of treats next time I go to my world, though!"

His tears stopped instantly, Kagome noticed with amusement. _Just like a little faucet_, she thought.

"Will you bring me pocky?" he asked hopefully.

She nodded as Sango and Miroku went out the door. "Lots of pocky."

"Promise?"

"I promise," said Kagome, and left the hut.

Shippou stood staring at the door for long minutes after she'd left, the elation of treats to come fading away as he realized what he'd let himself be talked into. "Darn it," he said at last, sticking tiny hands into his pockets. "I really wanted to go…"

"Go where?" said a somewhat slurred voice from the corner.

"The village, baka, weren't you…" Suddenly Shippou gasped, and ran over to where Inuyasha lay on his back near the corner. "Inuyasha! Are you awake?"

"What's it look like, runt," growled Inuyasha, struggling to sit up in the straw he'd been lying in. He looked around the darkening hut in confusion. "Oi, where'd Kagome go?"

"She left with the others," said Shippou sullenly, glaring at a stray piece of straw that had landed on the ground. "They went to the village... probably there by now too."

"Why'd they go_ there_?" said Inuyasha, beginning to get annoyed as well. "Shouldn't they have stayed here?"

"Well they ought to have, but they just left anyways! And they left me here with no company except for _you_," Shippou added sulkily. A moment later he looked up to see a clawed fist descending towards him. "Ahh! I didn't mean it!" he screeched shrilly.

One minute and several lumps later, Shippou flopped on his stomach onto the ground beside Inuyasha. The hanyou stood up slowly, testing his legs after the long period of inactivity. "Well, they've been gone long enough," he growled in a low voice. "I'm going to get them for this…"

Shippou lifted his head as a very interesting thought struck him. "Hey, Inuyasha," he began, "do you want revenge?"

Inuyasha stopped, turning to look inquisitively at Shippou. "Revenge?"

Shippou nodded quickly. "Yeah! We could get back at Kagome and the others for leaving!"

Inuyasha contemplated for a moment, staring intently at Shippou all the while. Finally he lowered himself to the ground, sitting crosslegged in front of Shippou with his hands pressed against the ground. "All right," he said. "So what do you wanna do?"

Kirara twitched slightly in her corner, but didn't awaken.

**:00:00:**

All right… I was originally going to make this a one-shot, but I have the vague feeling that it'll be too long. It probably won't be all that long anyways, but meh… I don't know this site well enough yet. This is my first fanfic, so reviews would be appreciated…

Also, I don't have a beta, so the pointing out of mechanical errors would be good too. I think I took care of them all, but Varethane is as human as the next ningen, and so there may still be a few lurking around.

** :0:** Oh, nearly forgot: ningen means human, hanyou is half youkai (youkai meaning demon), kitsune is fox spirit (well, Shippou), hentai is pervert/lech, shakujou is Miroku's staff, and Shikon no kakera means shards of the Shikon jewel (Shikon referring to the jewel, and kakera being the shards). I think that's about all of them...


	2. Left Alone

Disclaimer: I absolutely do not own Inuyasha. Perhaps if I did, I would be as rich as Takahashi-sama doubtless is, and I wouldn't be contributing stories to a site devoted to fanfiction. Knowing me, I would probably still be an anime nut though.

**:00:00:**

"Are you sure Shippou will be safe with Inuyasha?" asked Sango quietly as she, Miroku and Kagome walked deeper into the village.

"Of course," said Miroku dismissively. "After all, it's unlikely that he'll get into trouble while Inuyasha's asleep, and Kirara's there if something attacks."

Kagome bit her lip at the mention of things attacking the small hut they were rapidly leaving behind. Sango noticed her grimace and turned towards her.

"Look, Kagome, they'll be safe," she said. "Demons only attack villages when they're really desperate, and even then I think they'd just ignore a nearly-empty hut on the edge of it. Inuyasha will be fine."

Kagome tried to smile, but it was difficult.

"I know," said Sango brightly. "Let's find a hot spring!"

"Ooh!" Kagome's smile suddenly became genuine, and Sango grinned back in relief. "I haven't bathed in ages… plus I'm all sweaty from that last battle…"

"I shall accompany you," Miroku cut in smoothly. "To protect against attack."

"No you won't," said Sango, her hand straying to where Hiraikotsu would be if she had brought it with her. "You can find your own hot spring, pervert."

Miroku rubbed at his chin, trying to look thoughtful. He'd half-expected a whack for that comment, and not getting it had thrown him slightly. "Surely you girls don't want to be left alone, especially in such a compromising place…?"

Sango's eyebrow twitched. "_You're_ the only danger I can imagine us encountering, houshi-sama!"

Miroku sighed. Sango tended to make him do that. "I suppose there's no reasoning with you then… I'll accompany you to the spring, though, to ensure your safety."

Sango looked like she might make another angry remark, and her hand was twitching uselessly in the air right about where it would have been grabbing Hiraikotsu, had the weapon been there. Kagome put a hand on her shoulder, smiling. "Let him, Sango. I mean," she added, raising her voice so that Miroku knew the last comment was to be addressed to him, "it's not as if he'll be sticking around while we bathe, is it?"

Miroku felt like saying nothing so much as Inuyasha's famous 'Keh!' He was beginning to understand why the other man made the noise.

Sango smiled back at Kagome, her hand relaxing at last. "That's true. So, do you know where the hot spring is?"

"I think I saw the steam earlier, while we were approaching the village," said Kagome. "It should be just off to our left, once we reach the edge of the village."

_Well_, thought Miroku, holding back another sigh, _at least they're letting me follow partway_. He tilted his head slightly to the right, appraisingly, watching the two women walking in front of him. _And I have really do have quite a remarkable view of_…

**:00:00:**

"So what do you think?" asked Shippou.

Inuyasha leaned back, grinning slightly. "I think it'll work, runt." _And it doesn't involve too much running around_, he thought. _Stupid centipedes_. "When do we get started?"

Shippou frowned. "Well, it won't take too much preparation… I think I've got nearly everything I need with me…" He dug his hands into his pockets, spilling out their contents onto the floor.

Inuyasha wrinkled his nose as he watched various objects being pulled out for examination. There was that top that Shippou seemed to like so much; there were those infernal statues, that the kitsune had used to bind Inuyasha's hands upon their first meeting; an awful lot of leaves for transforming things, and some toys that had obviously come from Kagome's world. He frowned even harder as what appeared to be a handful of crushed pocky was dropped on the ground— he'd seen the kitsune eating the stuff, and it smelled rather enticing, but he'd never had the opportunity to find out for himself whether it was good or not. If it turned out to be as good as ramen he'd have to do something to the runt… and to the wench, for hiding the stuff from him in the first place.

Some of the objects were a bit less conspicuous. Balls of fluff, bits of string, interestingly-shaped sticks… things that the kitsune had probably just stumbled across at some point or another during their quest and decided to keep.

He squinted at what looked like a dried-up piece of black leather. It looked vaguely familiar… After a moment's hard thinking, he dredged up a vague memory, a small incident whose presence in his mind was mostly overshadowed by the events that followed directly after: after carrying an old man back to his village, the man's son had given him the cast-off skin of a lizard. With no use for it whatsoever, Inuyasha had given it to the one person in the group who had expressed an interest in it.

Shippou had kept that?

Shippou had massed all of this in its own pile: the rest was set off to the side, all of his acorns and mushrooms and other things for making those charms that could be so useful and so irritating at the same time. After one last check through his pockets, he looked up at Inuyasha. "Yeah, I'm ready."

Kirara slept on.

**:00:00:**

"Ohh, this is nice," said Kagome, sinking down up to her neck in the warm water. "I'd nearly forgotten how much I love hot springs."

"I'm just glad that blasted monk stopped following us," said Sango, looking off into the trees. "He needs to learn when to keep his prying eyes away."

Kagome laughed. "Ah, well, the women back in the village ought to occupy him." Miroku had seized on them the moment he set eyes on them (or perhaps they had seized on him: it was difficult to tell, and at any rate the end result was the same), and was at this moment probably still back outside the headman's hut, reading palms and whatnot. Kagome wasn't sure if Sango had even noticed. Well, at least it would keep the monk from spying...

Sango stood abruptly, not even caring now that, had Miroku been there, he would have been offered a rather decent view of her body's nude profile. "What! He's going to hit on every single one of them in turn, I've got to stop him!"

Kagome reached out to grasp Sango's arm lightly. She allowed herself another smile. Sango could be so silly… she had never noticed the way Miroku watched her when she wasn't looking. Oh, sure, he liked to look at Sango's rear, that much was true, but there was a look in his eyes that Kagome never saw while he was watching other women… "Sango, I don't think they need our help. Come on, we came here for a reason, right? To relax. So that's what we've got to do." The monk wouldn't _really_ get himself or any of the girls in trouble, no matter how much he thought he wanted to. And Sango needed to calm down... perhaps she felt edgy without any of her weaponry.

Sango looked away almost regretfully for a few seconds before allowing Kagome to pull her back into the middle of the spring. She sank down, up to her neck as well, and leaned against a rock.

Kagome waited a moment or so before leaning forwards conspiratorially. "Sango," she said in a lower voice, "what do you think of Miroku?"

Sango stared at her, bewildered and slightly embarrassed. She didn't know why she would be embarrassed, but the feeling was there. She hoped she wasn't blushing. "Well, he's a pervert, for one," she said, trying to sound haughty and aloof. "He'll grope any woman he sees, he's shameless!"

"Yeah, but aside from that," said Kagome. "What about the rest of him, away from his hands?"

Now Sango _knew_ she was blushing. "Well, uh…" Her mind froze up on her. The _rest_ of Miroku? … Oh, kami, she was getting as perverted as he was!

Kagome noticed the expression and changed tactics. "You know he hasn't been groping other women as often lately," she said lightly.

"What are you talking about?" said Sango in confusion. "He's been groping more than ever!"

"Yes, but only you," said Kagome, watching Sango's face with interest. The other woman was getting redder by the second. "You must have noticed."

"Well," began Sango, her mind racing, "yeah, maybe, but… only because he hasn't had as much opportunity! Running around with you and Inuyasha, it takes away a lot of his chances." She grinned suddenly, her blush fading. "Speaking of Inuyasha… what's your opinion of our dear hanyou?"

Kagome was beginning to regret instigating this talk about men.

**:00:00:**

Miroku bent low over the palm of one of the village's pretty women. "I see that you will have great luck in later life," he said to her in his best Sincere Voice. "You will have many children, and have a long and prosperous…"

"Me!" shouted another voice from the crowd of women behind him. "Read mine next!"

"No, me!" shouted another voice. "I was here before you!"

He sighed. Perhaps this had been a mistake. The women of this village were not very pretty to begin with, but they were terribly eager…

He didn't think he had actually made any sort of decision until he noticed the faces of several women who had to be about fifty years old, judging by their wrinkles, poking above the top of the crowd… and heading towards him. He started up with an undignified scramble, gathered up his robes, and, bidding goodbye to the girl whose palm he'd been reading, fled the scene.

"No!" he heard one of them call from behind him.

"Come back, houshi-sama!" called another.

He shuddered to hear that name coming from another's lips… why had he become so accustomed to only Sango using that name for him? It was what he _was_, after all. Why should one of these women using it disturb him so?

But disturb him it did, and with a faint whimper he pulled up his robes higher and ran. The sounds of a chase faded away behind him quickly—perhaps they didn't really care that he was gone? Now they could go back to… whatever it was they had been doing before he came along.

He leaned against the side of a building and realized that he was nearing the outskirts of the village—not that it was large enough to actually have sizeable outskirts, but this hut seemed to be right beside the forest.

Now that his breathing had slowed down, it didn't take Inuyasha's youkai hearing to detect faint women's voices drifting in from between the trees.

_Hang on_, thought Miroku, shifting to peer around the side of the hut. He could see nothing but trees. _Didn't the girls say that there was a hot spring near here_…?

Quietly he walked away from the hut and towards the trees, stopping every so often to confirm the presence of the women's voices. Yes, it was definitely Sango and Kagome, and they were nearby… he crept a little closer, finally leaning around the trunk of a tree to look down at a steaming hot spring. He could feel its warmth against his face, and he could distinctly see the silhouettes of the two women sitting in the water.

"Well, if he didn't always say that I was nothing but a shard detector, I might not mind so much," Kagome was saying. "But I can't help but wonder what would happen if…"

Suddenly Sango shuddered. _Stand, stand_, Miroku urged her silently.

"Stop," she told Kagome. "I feel eyes…"

Miroku ducked back behind his tree. A splashing noise told him that Sango had, indeed, stood. Desire to see warred with his instinct for self-preservation.

"I don't see anyone," said Kagome, puzzled. "Come on, Sango, get back in."

After a moment there was another faint splashing noise. _Ohh, kami, I will be eternally grateful_… Miroku thought as he moved back around the trunk of the tree—and froze. The sound he'd heard wasn't Sango sitting back down, but Kagome standing up.

For long seconds, the three just stood and stared. There was no doubt that both of them had seen him.

Miroku swallowed hard as his gaze traveled slowly downwards. _So perfect_... Seconds later, a yell broke the silence as a good-sized rock traveled through the air and connected with his head.

"HENTAI!"

**:00:00:**

Urgh... typos. And sorry about my idiocy with the whole review-thing... it's me who feels dumb, really. For 2 reasons: a), not reading things properly, and b) for letting a few typos slip through in here... it DOES seem a bit hypocritical of me, actually. Ah, well, it's fixed now... and DON'T pick on my beta! I wrote this before I had one, so it's not her fault. Honestly, I was just beng stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, and I feel well and truly idiotic now.

And, here is another chapter. Japanese terms… Hentai means lecher (or pervert), and houshi-sama essentially means monk (houshi means monk, and sama is a very respectful honorific). Sorry if some of the terms seem to change, as I may alternate between the Japanese and English terms occasionally. It's basically just according to my own best judgement.


	3. Trouble

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Yes, that's right. I shan't repeat it any more.

Warning: this chapter contains spoilers. For the anime episode 128, to be specific, which is one of the funniest filler episodes ever created. However, if you don't like spoilers, then skip over any parts where Kagome talks about her time and you'll probably be okay.

Ah, actually, the whole fic may have spoilers... I'll just say this now, so that I don't have to say it in later chapters.

**:00:00:**

"Baka," groused Sango, glaring at Miroku as she and Kagome sat opposite him near a large tree—both of the women now fully dressed, to Miroku's dismay. "Why did you have to sneak up on us? You ought to have known what would happen."

Miroku put a hand up to his bruised head, wincing slightly. "Ah, well, pain is no match for my boundless affection, Sango."

She stared at him with a very odd look on her face. Kagome watched them both, wondering if, possibly…

Sango reared back and slapped Miroku hard across the cheek, and his hand flew back to his side with a faint rattling of beads. Kagome sighed and shook her head.

**:00:00:**

"I didn't know it would take this bloody long to get ready," said Inuyasha with no small amount of annoyance, folding his arms across his chest as he watched Shippou fiddling with something.

"Well, it's not _my_ fault!" said the kitsune, turning to glare at the hanyou. "_You're_ the one who wouldn't go and get me more mushrooms like I asked!"

"Keh!" Inuyasha growled, but didn't move. "In case you can't remember, runt, _I'm_ also the one who can't walk at the moment!"

"It's your own fault for letting yourself get hurt!" Shippou retorted, and went back to his fiddling. He was charming the items that had been in his pockets, and the last thing he needed was a distraction.

Inuyasha growled again but didn't get up. _Stupid centipede. Stupid kitsune. When I can get up again_…! He grinned to himself, knowing that time was not far off. If he tried, he could probably make it up anyway, but… he didn't feel like trying. Besides, the kitsune was helping him. Maybe after the prank was through…

"Ha!" exclaimed Shippou, holding up one of the screaming mushrooms he used to notify the others when there was trouble. "Finished!"

Inuyasha grinned again. "About damn time, runt."

In the corner, Kirara twitched and rolled over.

**:00:00:**

"Wow, I'm glad that we did leave the hut," said Kagome, leaning against the tree just outside the village. It was getting to be truly late by now, and everything was so calm and peaceful… Nothing had attacked, she hadn't felt anything out of the ordinary… and now she was sitting under a tree with two of her best friends, in the Sengoku Jidai, breathing clean, fresh air and looking up at the wonderfully visible stars. "It's really nice out here…"

"It is a beautiful night," said Sango, also leaning against the tree. Miroku was there too, mercifully having left off his groping for the time being. He had somehow acquired a large bottle of sake, which he held lightly between his knees, occasionally lifting it to pour himself a glass. He had offered the two girls drinks at various intervals of time, but both had refused, and kept refusing, and so he had stopped asking.

"I'll never get over how bright the stars are here," said Kagome softly. "Even when there's a full moon out, there's nothing to overshadow them."

"_I'll_ never understand what that world of yours is like," sighed Sango. "So full of strange things and miraculous medicines…"

Kagome smiled wryly. Trust Sango to remember that… "Well, it's not just medicine that's been advanced," she said. "We have machines that can transport people anywhere, even up into the sky, and there have been big changes in the way the world… and people… work."

"Like what sort of changes?" asked Miroku, who was also listening intently. While he had consumed a fair quantity of the sake, he was not drunk yet, just… pleasantly incapacitated.

"Well, for one thing, there are no more youkai," said Kagome. "Well, there might be some, but they'd have to be all in hiding. And different things are important. Like here, you need to be strong, and fight. But in my time, it's… different. You have to have an education, you need to know how to read and write, and how to get a job, and that's how you survive."

"So there are no youkai in the future?" said Sango, turning towards Kagome in interest. "Not even any of the ones from our time?"

"No," said Kagome, shaking her head.

Sango watched her. "What about… well, Shippou-chan? And Sesshoumaru? And even… Inuyasha?"

Kagome's smile faded slightly. She had, in all honesty and truth, _never_ thought of that. "No, I've… never seen any of them in my time, except for Inuyasha, when he comes with me," she said, and she could hear the hollowness in her voice. If she'd never seen him, didn't that mean that… well, that by the time she was born, he was already long dead? It felt like her chest was tightening, drawing into itself, like her heart was trying to claw its way through her back. _Unless_... she took a deep breath, a new thought coming to her. _Unless I was to… what if he came with me? What if, in the end, I don't leave him here, but_...

Sango watched the smile grow on her friend's face, and took a wild guess as to her thoughts. "What do you usually do with Inuyasha while he's… in your time, Kagome-chan?"

"What do we do?" Kagome shrugged. "Well, he usually waits around at my house while I go to school. Once or twice he's even come to my school, but he never stays for long." She laughed slightly, as a memory came to her. "Although, once while my school was having a festival… do you remember the youkai himono that we got from a village, a while ago? Well, he came to my school to look for it, and hung around for the whole festival. In the end, though, he got impatient and just hauled me away to kill the demons." Her face heated up as she remembered just _how_ he had hauled her away: bursting in through the ceiling of the school stage, while she played the lead role in the play, he had used the kaze no kizu on one of the himono youkai and then jumped back out of the hole he'd made, this time with Kagome on his back. The expression on Houjou's face (he had been playing her love interest in the play) would remain with her forever.

Miroku sighed and leaned back against the tree. This was certainly pleasant, just sitting here… his head was still throbbing from Sango's previous blows, and he realized lazily that from where he was sitting he had a nearly perfect side view of Sango's face… She did have a very pretty face.

"What is this school like?" asked Sango. "You seem to be complaining every time it's mentioned… something to do with those 'tests,' isn't it?"

"Yeah…" Kagome looked up at the stars. "They ask you questions about what they teach you during classes, and then they grade you on your answers. Getting a good grade will get you a good job, and that's what matters in my time…"

"I can see why Inuyasha doesn't like your school, then," said Sango, laughing gently. "If it represents education…"

"Hey!" Kagome bristled. "He's not _stupid_!"

"Well, education isn't as important here," said Miroku, giving his input to the conversation. "I think he might be unnerved by the fact that in your world, he wouldn't be able to be as independent as he is here without making some sacrifices. Like going to school."

Kagome blinked. She'd never really thought of that either. Trying to imagine Inuyasha sitting through a class was like trying to imagine Sango with her hand on _Miroku's_ butt. It just didn't quite fit.

She allowed a smile to cross her face at last. Now wasn't the time for worrying, but… if she held the thought of Inuyasha sitting in a class wearing one of the male school uniforms, she got a rather amusing picture in her mind. Inuyasha with a hat… Inuyasha with a somehow rather Houjou-like expression on his face… Inuyasha wearing any colour other than bright red… Inuyasha in Houjou's shirt… Inuyasha _without_ a shirt…

She quickly abandoned that line of thought, her face flaming. She realized that Sango was watching her curiously, probably wondering why her face was bright red.

"Ahh… you're probably right," she said. "He certainly hates my textbooks enough. Do you know, every time I try to study, it's always _him_ who interrupts me!"

_Attention-seeker_, Miroku thought blearily. Sango's face was turned away from him still, but he could see the line that marked the bridge of her nose, the curve of her chin, the gentle fall of her chin and the halt as it met her collarbone… oddly, his eyes didn't want to go any lower. After meeting the collar of her yukata, they danced back upwards, back to her eyes, which were trained on Kagome. He poured himself another glass of sake.

Sango was laughing. "Well, that's only to be expected," she said. "That hanyou thinks of nothing but battles, and there are enough of those to give him a good excuse."

"Yeah," said Kagome, "but he does it often enough that I want to hit him… or at least osuwari him into the ground."

The colour tried to leave her face as she remember her last osuwari… he'd been asleep, then, and hurt too… she'd never done that before. It gave her an uncomfortable feeling deep in the pit of her stomach, that she might have hurt him more than he was already. _Well, I wasn't trying to do it in the first place_, she thought defensively, as if he were already awake and angry at her. _It was an accident_!

"I wish that I had an osuwari spell for him too," said Sango, "for all those times when you're back in the well. He never stops bothering us then."

"I'm sorry," said Kagome, looking down at her hands.

Sango looked at her in surprise. "You don't have to be sorry, Kagome-chan. We all know you have to go back to your world in order to go to school… everyone except Inuyasha, anyway."

Miroku made a strange gesture with his left hand. "And we all know the dignity with which his word on the subject must be treated."

Sango turned to Kagome before the other girl could bristle in anger again. "Well, the point is, you know that you are truly in the right, Kagome. You really have been very understanding of the whole situation—especially when it comes to Inuyasha."

Miroku watched her speaking. The light of the stars and the nearly-full moon shone off her skin, turning it silver with hints of midnight darkness where the light did not reach. His hand rose of its own accord, and Sango, seeing the movement, started to turn—and froze, as the palm of his left hand caressed her cheek. For long seconds, all she could feel was the sensation of his warm palm against her cheek, soft, barely brushing the skin.

Kagome turned to look and gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. After watching for a few seconds, during which time Sango didn't move her face except to turn wide eyes on Miroku, Kagome finally found her voice.

"Miroku," she said, "are you… feeling up Sango's _face_?"

"Of course I am," he slurred. "Why should I not be able to feel up…"

Without waiting for him to say another word, Sango hauled off and slapped him.

He blinked, touching his reddened cheek, and looked offended. "I must protest that one," he said.

"Reflex," said Sango, who looked more than a little bit spooked. "I don't trust you, houshi-sama." She stood up quickly.

Kagome started to laugh. _Reflex_! No matter which part of her was in question, Sango was completely off-limits for Miroku now. _She hit him out of reflex_!

Miroku stared at his hand mournfully. "Why can't I touch her?" he asked his rosary.

The rosary remained silent. Kagome, however, began to laugh harder. She supposed she really shouldn't, but the expression on his face was so _funny_… She had always thought that the two cared for each other more than they admitted, but she'd never counted on the taijiya's training coming between them. Perhaps the fact that Miroku _did_ care for her was what scared Sango, and not just his strange methods of conveying it. And all, most likely, without either of them knowing it!

Suddenly a shrill noise broke in on her laughter. Sango jumped and looked around, and Miroku scrambled awkwardly to his feet, using his shakujou to help.

"What's that?" asked Kagome, standing as well.

"It sounds like… it sounds like one of…" Sango's hand groped through the air towards where hiraikotsu ought to have been as she started to run into the woods. "It's one of Shippou's screaming mushrooms!"

"Oh no!" Kagome started to run after her. "That means something's happened back at the hut!"

Miroku followed her, his face pale, as the three of them disappeared into the woods. The bottle of sake lay forgotten beneath the tree.

**:00:00:**

Kirara rolled over again and opened one eye, to find herself bound in small scraps of kitsune-transformed ofuda within an empty hut.


	4. The Looks on Your faces

Disclaimer: no, I do not own Inuyasha. This causes me to spend my time writing some very strange things down—such as this ahem 'story.'

**::00::::00::**

"Where is it?" panted Kagome, quickly catching up with Sango. "Where's the mushroom?"

Sango pointed wordlessly at the small wailing fungus. "This means he was here," she said, her voice tight. "Whatever happened, he came _right here_ and planted this signal."

"What… what could have happened?" asked Kagome in a small voice.

"I don't know," said Sango.

"Are we going back to the hut?" asked Miroku, catching up to them.

"No," said Sango. "That would be useless. Obviously they've either left on their own or have been… moved somehow."

Kagome gasped. "And Inuyasha… he's been hurt! He couldn't fight back… and it's all my fault, I left him alone…"

"It's not your fault, Kagome-chan" said Sango grimly. "There's no way anyone could have foreseen this." She smacked away Miroku's hand as it rose towards her face again. "Not _now_, houshi-sama!"

"We have to go help!" said Kagome, taking a step towards the mushroom as though it could transport them to wherever the hanyou and kitsune were. "Oh, what if they've been attacked by a youkai? Not only can't Inuyasha fight, but I haven't got my bow!"

"And I left Hiraikotsu at the hut," said Sango. "But we have to move quickly!" She pointed deeper into the woods, where another mushroom popped up and began to wail. "There!"

"Let's go!" said Miroku, determined not to be left behind this time. Now that his adrenaline was running, his sake-induced drowsiness was gone without a trace. He still had that very strange desire to touch Sango's face… but hopefully that would go away before too long. It wasn't natural, in his opinion, and if it got him the same reaction as a caress anywhere else, it wasn't worth the bother.

The mushrooms just kept showing up. Each time they reached one, another would be close at hand, wailing away. "I would be surprised if these things aren't enough to wake up the village," said Sango after a few minutes of running in silence.

"Too far away," said Miroku. He was panting slightly. "Though it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing if they did… if there's something causing trouble, best it doesn't reach the people while they're all asleep and defenseless."

"Inuyasha was still asleep when we left," said Kagome, feeling the beginning of tears in her eyes. She blinked them back. Now was not the time to cry. "Wh-what if he hasn't even woken up yet? If they were attacked, he'd have only Shippou to take care of him!"

"Kirara's there, too," Sango reminded her, looking around for the next mushroom. It wails filled her ears, high-pitched and ringing. It was a sound that would have annoyed her had it not conveyed a message of danger.

"Yeah, but… what if… what if the thing that attacked them is really strong?"

"Or Naraku," said Miroku softly, but not softly enough. Kagome nearly stopped dead when she heard, and Sango shot him a glare.

"We'll deal with that possibility when we find them," Sango told Kagome. "Don't worry about it, Kagome-chan!"

"But… but what if Naraku has him?" said Kagome. "He could be…" she didn't even dare to continue. _Could be torturing him. Could be… dead…_

"Well, then we'll get him back," said Sango. "Come on, we have to keep looking!"

"Where in Musashi are these things leading us?" said Miroku in confusion after a few more minutes. "I think we've passed this stand of trees before."

Sango paused, looking back at the trees in question briefly before suddenly turning and staring at them intently. "You're… right," she said after a moment.

"What?" Kagome frowned. "But… why would that be? Is something taking them round in circles?"

Sango narrowed her eyes. "That would mean… it's toying with _us_."

"You mean it wants us next?" Kagome's frown deepened. "But why would it do that? I mean, no offence meant to the village, but that's where all the people are, after all."

"No, you're right, Kagome-sama," said Miroku, looking around and speaking over the wails of the next mushroom, which had made its noisy appearance attached to the underside of a hanging log. "Whatever this youkai is, it obviously is not just after ningen—it wants us specifically. What it's doing right now doesn't make sense otherwise."

"But why would it want…" Sango seemed to be holding back some strong emotion, and was not doing very well. Loathing shone in her eyes. "Then it _couldn't_ be some average youkai… and the only youkai I can think of that would want us over a village full of people is… Naraku."

"Kuso," said Miroku in a moment of uncharacteristic swearing. "We have to keep going."

They dashed to the next mushroom, and the next, and then kept going, as there seemed to be no end to the things.

Kagome couldn't keep her mind from running wild. All the other times Inuyasha was left on his own… usually it was the other way around, with him leaving her for Kikyou, but what about those times when he was without her? She shivered, remembering finding him unconscious within Hakureizan, swathed in Naraku's tentacles. Another memory surfaced soon after, a somewhat longer time ago: after Kagura had turned the fearsome kaze no kizu against him, he had been alone then, too—except for Shippou—and he had gone to find Kikyou then, also. This was similar, wasn't it?

…Except that Shippou hadn't been in much danger then. The amount of mushrooms they were encountering scared her, quite frankly. _He must really be scared_, she thought worriedly. _What's happening? _

"This is disconcerting," said Miroku, panting more than ever. "I think this is at least the fourth time we have passed those trees, and the mushrooms never stop. We must have missed one somewhere."

"We're going in circles," cried Kagome. "What the heck is going…"

"Shhh!"

Kagome looked at Sango in surprise. The taijiya was staring up into the trees above them with that odd look on her face again.

"Something's laughing," said Sango.

Kagome listened hard, but heard nothing but the sound of the wailing mushrooms. They were standing right beside one and it was screaming into her ear. "I don't hear anything."

"It's stopped now," said Sango.

"But that means that we are coming closer," said Miroku.

"Yeah… but we're walking into its trap!" said Kagome. "It knows we're coming now!"

"We can't help that," said Sango grimly. "All we can do is walk in and try to dismantle it from the inside."

"Do you really think it's Naraku?" Kagome asked in a small voice.

Sango began to say something, then stopped. "Well… I _would_… but it seems a bit simple for his usual schemes," she said.

"So it could be something else entirely," Miroku finished for her. He frowned. "Or there's some part of it that hasn't been revealed yet."

That thought did _not_ make Kagome feel better about their situation. But there was another mushroom to distract her, just a few paces away to her right.

Tense silence ensued for the next few minutes, until, very suddenly and entirely without warning, there were no more mushrooms.

"Oh, no," breathed Miroku, looking around.

"We're back at the hut," said Sango, staring at the small wooden structure in shock.

Kagome all but leaped forwards, running towards the hut. "Inuyasha!"

Miroku caught her around the waist and pulled her back. "No, Kagome! Don't rush in blindly, you don't know what's in there!"

Now Kagome truly did feel like crying. "But…"

Miroku began to advance on the hut, holding his shakujou out in front of himself almost threateningly. Perhaps it was the sake that made him feel braver—if it was Naraku, there was a good chance that they would all die there and then—and if that was the case, then he was glad he'd drunk the stuff. Behind him, Kagome stood biting hard on her lower lip. Sango joined Miroku, her eyes cold.

Suddenly the door to the hut burst open, and Miroku flinched. Sango flipped out one of her hidden wrist-blades (she never went without any weapon at all, and the wrist-blades were easiest to take around) and readied herself for a slash—then stopped, jaw dropping, as she watched Kirara bound out of the hut's open entrance, covered in what looked like half-chewed ofuda.

"What the…" she murmured as she bent down to pick up the small neko youkai. She held Kirara up and inspected the bits of paper attached to her. "These look like… Shippou's!"

A sneaking suspicion was beginning to creep up on Kagome. She began to walk purposefully towards the hut, when suddenly there was a flash of bright blue light from within the hut. Miroku felt an awful chill as he heard laughter—the same laughter, he supposed, that Sango had heard earlier. It was deep, low… thoroughly evil.

Kagome had started backwards at the flash of light, and now she had almost unconsciously settled into a fighting stance—as much as she could without her preferred weapons, her bow and arrows. She, Sango and Miroku stood, watching the hut for long seconds as the light faded and the laughter grew. Kirara twisted in Sango's hands as if trying to free herself.

Suddenly…

"BOO!" A huge form appeared in front of them all, blocking out their view of the hut… indeed, of anything else. Kagome screamed, Miroku bent his shakujou slightly with one convulsive movement of his hands, and Sango dropped Kirara. It took little more than a second to realize that the immense form was round, sporting four tiny, nearly-useless limbs and a large pair of unfocused eyes, before it vanished in a burst of smoke to reveal a hysterically laughing Shippou.

There was dead silence, filled only by Shippou's laughter. Suddenly, another voice joined in, uproariously, and the three looked up to see Inuyasha sitting high in a tree, clutching its trunk as he laughed just as hard as Shippou. The kitsune was, by this time, rolling on his back and screaming.

"Shippou…" said Sango softly.

"Inuyasha," said Kagome, equally softly.

Miroku tried vainly to unbend his shakujou. "You're both in for it now," he murmured. He did not seem displeased with this prospect.

"Oh, that was great!" said Inuyasha hoarsely through bursts of laughter. "The looks on your faces…!"

"How… how DARE you!?" yelled Kagome, striding over to stand beneath the tree. "You… we thought you were in serious trouble! Do you have ANY idea how worried I was?!"

"It… was… worth it…" the hanyou wheezed, still laughing.

"You BAKA! Were you hanging around the whole time, watching us worry? How could you be so heartless?" She screamed up at him.

Inuyasha got ahold of himself just enough to say, "and just why should I care? You left me on my own without anyone except for the runt to keep me company!" He indicated Shippou with a wave of one clawed hand. The tiny youkai was still struggling with peals of laughter. Sango was glaring angrily, seeming uncertain as to who she should glare at—Inuyasha or Shippou.

Kagome was taken aback momentarily. Miroku, who was beginning to see the funnier side of things more readily than the two women, muttered to himself, "well, in that case I suppose one can't say it was unexpected…"

Miroku was an easier target than the kitsune or the hanyou. Sango turned on him. "Are you saying this is _our_ fault, houshi?"

Miroku put himself behind his slightly twisted shakujou. "Ahh... of course not, Sango! I simply meant that it should not have startled us that Inuyasha and Shippou would contrive something of this nature when left to their own devices!" He took a deep breath, and waited.

To his surprise, Sango blinked, and retreated. "I suppose you're right," she said. "Considering who they are…" She looked over at Shippou.

Up in his tree, Inuyasha was still laughing. "Your… faces…"

"So I suppose you think that gives you the excuse to do something like this?" yelled Kagome. "You really…"

She trailed off as Inuyasha, unbalanced by his laughter, gave a yelp of surprise and tipped backwards off his branch. He landed heavily on the ground beside the tree and lay there, unmoving.

"…Worried me," said Kagome, half to herself, and ran to him.

Miroku sighed, still holding his crooked shakujou tightly in one hand as he made his way over. "Oh, Kagome," he said, shaking his head as the girl gently lifted Inuyasha's head away from the ground. "Baka is a bit mild."

"I knew it," said Kagome, smoothing the hanyou's hair unthinkingly. "He's gone and knocked himself out again." She snorted in annoyance. "I hope he has the world's biggest headache when he wakes up."

Miroku could only grin. _No you don't_… He simply watched as Kagome threaded her fingers into the hanyou's thick silver hair and ran her hand through it slowly. She didn't seem to be overly concerned about moving him at the moment.

Sango walked up to them, holding the still-laughing Shippou up by the tail. The kitsune had a few sizeable lumps on his head, but neither the infant youkai nor any of the others seemed to care. "Well, houshi-sama, it looks like we're right back to where we began," she said. She eyed his shakujou. "Except that now your staff matches your personality."

"What, golden?" he asked, flashing her his best Cocky Grin. She shook her head in amusement.

"No, crooked," she said, and whacked Shippou on the head again when he started laughing harder.

**::00::::00::**

This is _owari_: the end.

Shakujou is Miroku's staff, the one with the rings, taijiya is youkai (demon) exterminator, baka is fool/stupid, and… ah… neko youkai is Kirara (neko being cat, and youkai being… well, I've already said it, haven't I?)… I can't think of any others, though I'm sure they're in there somewhere. And that's it!


End file.
